The Tea Party: Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?

Previously: 1. Prelude , 2. Tea Ceremony , 3. Getting Ready, 4. The Kids, 5. Wedding Party, 6. Down the Aisle, 7. Ceremony, 8. Group Shots , 9. Couple Shots, 10. Jump Shots, , 11. House Shots, 12. Cocktails & Dinner, 13. First Dance

Even though we planned and hosted a wedding undeniably our own, with our personal stamp of quirkiness everywhere, the event was never for us. This wedding would have never happened if not for two very special reasons, and it is truly for them that we celebrated the way we did.

Here I am with the radiant reason number one, my new Mama:

And here's da hubs with the proud reason #2, his new Pop:

I'd say they split 50/50 on being responsible for the wedding taking place, but it is definitely because of my MIL that we had the whole wedding and reception shebang rather than just a dinner or a party at home. I remember distinctively the look on her face when we first mentioned our eloping considerations, it was much like that look of disappointment she had on when we delivered the baby news.

With her married son who did it painlessly right simply and quickly, and her youngest with no interest in a 'regular' wedding, we were her only hope of giving her that official mother-of-the-groom experience. I admit that I was guilt ridden, and neither da hubs nor I could deprive them of yet another very important thing we're capable of giving the parents.

So after all the hard work of planning the wedding, we finally got to the point where these two are put in the spotlight - the parents dance. You may have noticed that we've left the sap out of most parts of our wedding, and this dance would appear to outsiders as no different. I picked my daddy's favorite Beatles song, Here Comes The Sun, to dance to. It's a happy song with lyrics that's subtle and fitting. He is your typical old school conservative Chinese father, but from that demure and rare smile of his I could tell that he happily understood all I wanted him to know as his daughter on her wedding day.

We combined the father-daughter and mother-son dance, which was a great decision:
MIL was cuttin' a rug and my dad refused to be showed up, so he got into his own little groove. I laughed and said to him something like 'Dad, it's not a competition!'This is how I remember MIL on that whole day, beaming like a sun ray: Besides having had so many love ones gather to have such a great time, we are most glad for being able to give this to our parents. They still talk about how wonderful it was! We know a happy memory like this will never fade in their minds, and that is truly priceless.
Would your wedding decisions have been different if not for your parents?

The 1st, 5th, and 6th images are by Travis Hoehne, the rest are guests photos. Special shout out to my friend Rob who captured most of these key parents dance shots which are so important to us! Thanks, bro!


  1. What did you do for gifts for your parents?? I am having a hard time coming up with something that shows my great appreciation . . . especially my mom cuz it seems she is doing almost as much work as me!!

  2. Our parents did not contribute financially or in planning for our wedding. Not to say we're not thankful for them, but the wedding itself was our gift to them since it was really them who wanted a wedding out of us.

    I personally prefer gifts with thought / meaning, rather than gifting for no reason besides the occasion itself. I'd suggest thinking about the planning experience you've shared with your mom and look for something that would remind her of the wonderful time.

    For Xmas we made them photo books of our wedding pics, which they love-love-loved.

    Oh we did give a copy of the book 'Gift from the Sea' to my MIL (as I wrote about here
    ), from which we took a passage from to read in our ceremony.

  3. yes yes yes! like you, i'd totally love something quick and simple... but we've gone the classic route for the sake of our parents, and there are no regrets. :)

  4. I just discovered your blog todau. What a love letter you have written to you family and friends. Truly beautiful!