5. Years of neglect has left her face resembling the surface of the moon.
4. Her coarse and mistreated hair does not comprehend the meaning of the word 'bridal'.
3. Her nails have only ever (on rare occasion) been painted with polish that is ultra light, transparent, and nude/pinkish in color to mask her painting skills that is comparable to that of a 5 year old.
2. Never has she sought professional beauty help because beauty professionals' yapity yap straight up freaks her out.
And, (drum roll...)
1. Her inexperience with curling irons (bless her heart for practicing looking like a girl to attend a wedding this weekend) BURNED HER FACE WEEKS BEFORE HER OWN FAVORING WEDDING.
Leaving for wedding:
So, how was your weekend?